What are you curious about, personally and professionally?  What have you always been meaning to investigate or try?  Make 2010 the year that you “feel the fear and do it anyway!”

When we’re curious we learn, and that interest and intrigue means that once we find out more information we are more likely to retain the information that we gather and use it.

The world has always been a place of conversation and curiosity about others.  Over the years it has become an international obsession to be curious and discuss the lives of others, moving from gossip about others in your street to gossip fuelled by magazines and TV shows that give us continual ‘insights’ into ‘celebrity’ lives – people we don’t even know personally.  Would we really like everyone else knowing everything we get up to?

Are you as curious about you and what you get up to, or do you live vicariously through the glossy images visible at every turn?  Make 2010 the year when you increase the curiosity in you; in your well-being, your achievements, your dreams and ambitions, your health, and how you’ll be available to others without attachment. 

Here are some tips to consider for getting you started;

1. What areas of your life aren't the way you'd like them?

2. What would they look, feel and sound like if they were to your liking?

3. Why are you stopping them being this way?

4. Browse the 'self help' section of your local book store, open books at random and see which ones resonate with you.

5. Structure your weeks so that you have committed to the time you need to achieve all you want and need to do.  Building a new routine will become a new habit in just 3 weeks!

6. Sign up for a course for a subject you've always been interested in - there's no time like the present!

7. Establish an exercise routine that suits and feels comfortable for you.

8. Search and join the Groups and discussions available on social networking sites, contribute your thoughts, support and ask your questions.

9. Increase your social and professional network by attending events and through online resources.  You never know who you may need to know unless you see their contribution.

10. Talk to a life coach who will holistically support your curiosity for your life, or someone who can provide this support for you without judging.

Dale Rockell MA, MCMI, LCH Dip is a Life Coach, Motivational and Key Note Speaker and Founder of the Stress Free brand. 

To engage Dale’s support to create the life you want and to find out more go to;

LinkedIn  :  iTunes  :  Twitter  SCEMES UK Education Procurement Directory

Facebook (business page)  :  Facebook (connect with Dale)

Here are 10 tips for keeping yours!

1.      Don’t make too many resolutions.

2.      Make your resolutions specific and achievable.

3.      Make sure your resolutions are at least an 8 on a scale of 1 to 10, where 10 is “I’m going to do this”, and 1 is “I’m making a resolution because everyone else expects me to”.

4.      Write them down and display them somewhere you will see them frequently.

5.      Break your resolutions into smaller measureable goals.

6.      Keep a record of progress – keep it positive and adapt your plan for what isn't working.

7.      Reward yourself when you achieve part, or all, of your goal.

8.      Share your resolutions with those you trust and who will support you in your efforts.

9.      Find the right support, professional where appropriate, to keep you on track.

10.  Have fun working towards your resolutions it will make it so much easier to be successful.

Dale Rockell MA, MCMI, LCH Dip is a Life Coach, Motivational and Key Note Speaker and Founder of the Stress Free brand. 

To engage Dale’s support to create the life you want and to find out more go to;

LinkedIn  :  iTunes  :  Twitter  SCEMES UK Education Procurement Directory

Facebook  (business page)  :  Facebook (connect with Dale)

1. Through the contribution we make at work our self-esteem and confidence increases.

2. Going to work plays a large part in our social and emotional development.

3. Working provides enormous opportunity for personal and professional growth and development.

4. Work should increase our curiosity about what we can achieve and what we can contribute.

5. Work is a break from our personal (home) challenges. It is important to take time out from each area of our lives, it allows room for your thoughts to process.

6. Work is an opportunity to increase our financial and personal wealth.

7. Work makes a positive contribution to society, economically and socially.

8. Many individuals maintain voluntary roles as well as paid work.  Many take voluntary roles once paid work is no longer a priority to give something back, or to kick start their career or change of path.

9. Life is about what you give as much as what you receive, for example making a positive difference by being present.

10. The way we go about our work and dealings with others speaks more about us as individuals than the size of our salary.

Copyright Dale C. Rockell, 2009

...or what to tweet, that is the question!

Stephen Fry and his use of Twitter made the front page of the Sunday Times (1st November) following uncomplimentary blog comments by a fellow Twitterer regarding his opinion of the content of some of Stephen's tweets, with a resulting threat by Stephen to withdraw from Twitter completely.

It's a dilemma for anyone tweeting (or any social networking for that matter) as to what to tweet about, and with it's increasing use to gain attention and build reputations, especially by those in the public eye, let alone us other mere mortals running our own business, it's important to consider several facts:

With a limit of 140 characters it's more of a chit-chat thing, although you can play smart and increase that with links via Facebook and other resources feeding Twitter.

To maintain interest and the likelihood of people seeing your contribution, tweeting is about volume, and quantity as well as quality.  Unless of course you're using it to keep up with friends.

Tweeting has introduced the personal angle into 'marketing' of who you are and what you do. It literally is "what are you doing?"

From personal experience and feedback, it's nice to not have to be in business or expert mode all of the time.  I've received compliments for my mix of personal and professional approach to my tweeting.  That said I'm careful to protect the identities of those who choose not to social network such as my wife (MrsR) and son (miniR).

Social networking is about people getting to 'know' people. People buy people they can get to know, trust and respect through their contributions to the social networking forums.   

Tweeting and social media is changing the face of marketing and reputaton building.  After the brain strain of getting your brand statement sounding professional, you now need to consider how, or if to add a dose of you - the personal angle.

You have to consider what social networking and media offers you either personally, professionally or both.  If I'm in any doubt of what I think of tweeting, I don't. It's as simple as that.  There are even days when, due to workload or just not feeling in the right place, I won't tweet.  For me I have to consider the quality as much as quantity to maintain the profession profile I've invested in for the past 3 years running my own business, as well as my previous employment reputation before this.

Tweeting is just one part of a 'marketing' campaign for any individual or business, and it's a choice with everyone finding their own rhythm. If followers like your contribution and you reduce the frequency they will still engage, respond and hopefully, RT.

Happy Tweeting!

Copyright Dale C. Rockell, 2009

Networking has become a common phrase in business with two approaches;

Off-line networking; attending meetings and events to obtain new contacts, maybe referrals and business.

On-line networking; utilising the myriad of internet based resources to connect with those you know, and maybe those you don’t know (now there’s a radical thought!).

I believe everyone should nurture the skills to network, and regardless of employment status should be active in networking, developing a network of contacts that a) you may be able to assist or advise, and b) you may need to assist you, if not now, in the future, personally or professionally.

One of the keys to successful networking is the numbers game.  Increasing your exposure to as many people as possible with your message is where it will pay dividends, and provide a return on your investment (without ‘spamming’ everyone).  As a good friend of mine states “you don’t know who you don’t know”, and to extend that further, they don’t know that they may need to know you!

Depending upon your personal and professional objectives a balance is required between off-line and on-line networking.  For instance, if total investment time in off-line networking for one meeting, including travel, is 4 hours, how much progress could you make on-line in that time and at much less cost?

How can each medium of networking provide what you’re looking for?  For example; 60 second elevator pitch, speaking opportunities to demonstrate your expertise, contribution of articles, opportunity to respond to questions, comments and the challenges of others.

What questions and challenges do others have?  Make your contribution relevant.  Like adapting your CV for every job application, you must be able to adapt your contribution to demonstrate your expertise, rather than a hard-sell.  Your contribution may not even be relevant to your current role, this emphasises that networking is about relationship building and enhancing your profile.

While I don’t advocate exchanging business cards and having a one-to-one meeting with everyone you meet, connecting on-line with those you may not know (as appropriate*), allows you to understand their challenges, contribute with your comments and experience, and demonstrate your expertise to potentially thousands of individuals and businesses.

*Protocol is important here.  For example; I keep my Facebook profile private for family and those I know only due to sharing of private pictures (I choose to network my family don't and I protect their privacy), I have a business page for those who wish to become ‘fans’ with appropriate content.  However on professional network sites I am open to connect with any invitation, this has provided an extended network of 7 million+, of which potentially thousands see my contributions to discussions and news articles.

Finally, don’t be overwhelmed by the potential amount of activity.  Go with your gut feel for those contributions on-line for which you feel you have something to offer and which makes a contribution to your requirements.  Observe for a while if you’re lacking confidence.

So what are you waiting for?  Go and share your expertise with the world.  It’s easier than you think!

In the past week there have been reports of Terry Leahy claiming that business is picking up the pieces from inadequate education, and a teacher claiming that 'non teachers can never understand teachers'.

In the Sunday Times Appointments section (11th October 2009), a report details individuals who have moved from high stress corporate careers into teaching. Both accept it is intense however rewarding.

They key point is that these individuals have an alternate point of reference, and begs the question should teachers have experienced another career before going into teaching?

I have experienced conversations with teachers explaining they feel stumped with life skill development, in particular economic well-being, as they have only experienced school, college, university and back to a school environment. They welcome the 20 year corporate experience and relevance I successfully bring to the classroom.

So, as much as teachers may claim that non-teachers couldn't possibly understand their lot, it seems that it may also be the case of teachers towards non-teachers.

I know from current experience, and my corporate past that a work ethic is woefully lacking in many (although not all) young people. Schools really are (or should be) nurturing employees of the future, perhaps teachers having experience of the public and private sectors would bridge this gap and ensure education nurtures for the bigger picture.

Dale Rockell is a Personal Life Coach, Motivational Speaker and the Managing Director and Founder of Stress Free, a specialist working with schools and colleges to deliver highly effective and engaging solutions for PSHCE, SEAL and Every Child Matters, and Teacher effectiveness in the classroom.

Dale is also a trained facilitator for the Race Equality Foundations "Strengthening Families, Strengthening Communities" Inclusive Parenting programme.

further information is available at:

www.bestressfree.co.uk

www.dalecrockell-lifecoach.co.uk

www.twitter.com/dalerockell

www.linkedin.com/in/dalerockell

FREE podcasts available on iTunes.

A couple of recent events have led me to a conclusion that one of the biggest challenges many Teachers face is their own perception of their profession, and how they feel others perceive it.

In coaching and personal development this is referred to as a limiting belief. It stops us living and experiencing the world we'd like.

A posting on The Times ‘Schoolgate’ Blog attempts to tell us more on why “non-teachers can never understand teachers”.

Added to this my recent contribution on a teaching forum to support a Teacher in distress and threatening to walk out was met with collective patronising, the incorrect assumption that I didn't work in schools, and a unified approach that 'our lot is tough outsiders are not welcome'.

Here's the final posting by one individual, which received the support of others:

“Oh sick bucket please...
It works does it? We had no end of cheer-leaders spouting this 'positive' stuff in our last school. Just because they told us about skill developments didn't make the problems of switched-off, aggressive and uncooperative kids go away. Nor did this 'input' refresh anyone dealing with such kids day after day.
You know what did work?
Take him, him, her, him, her, her and him out of the room.. for the sake of any teachers sanity, timetable the bottom set Yr 9s RE first thing on Monday, not last thing on Friday, make sure an overburdened teacher didn't do cover as well and kept her frees and give a teacher landed with more than her fair share of bottom sets some of the star pupils to teach too.
Sorry to appear cynical.”

How can anyone, not just teachers but any individual expect others to show respect for their profession when they rebuff support, wherever it may come from, based on ‘you’re not a teacher, you couldn’t possibly understand’.  Teaching is a profession which needs to co-exist with others, it does not exist in a bubble, and nor should it. 

My first question to anyone not happy in their job or profession is this: Why did you choose it? Whatever the reason(s) you made a choice, recall that and start to work on why you stay in that job now.

Every job and life has tough challenges; teaching is no exception and is not alone.  Don't take general criticism personally. Do note however that it is said in some circles that if a comment pushes your buttons there may be an element of truth in it.

Ultimately only the individual can claim the assertiveness needed to get to a better place. Teachers are drained by others, be it Govt initiatives, parents, peers or students because, like others in other professions, they allow them. Everyone has similar challenges in their personal and professional life.

Be open to all support and expertise. Too many people in any profession are too close to the challenges to see all of the possibilities. Just because someone doesn't do your job it doesn't mean their contribution isn't relevant.

Finally, if your chosen path is causing so much discomfort, change it. If you don't change the path you at least need to look for change from within.

At the end of the day what we think, say and do impacts upon our happiness and others (if they let it), and for teachers they have a very important role of providing young people with exemplary role models and an opportunity to prepare for the world beyond education.

If things aren't working for you, it's decision time. Doing nothing really isn't an option for you, or those who look to you to set an example.

Dale Rockell is a Personal Life Coach, Motivational Speaker and the Managing Director and Founder of Stress Free, a specialist working with schools and colleges to deliver highly effective and engaging solutions for PSHCE, SEAL and Every Child Matters, and Teacher effectiveness in the classroom.

Dale is also a trained facilitator for the Race Equality Foundations "Strengthening Families, Strengthening Communities" Inclusive Parenting programme.

further information is available at:

www.bestressfree.co.uk

www.dalecrockell-lifecoach.co.uk

www.twitter.com/dalerockell

www.linkedin.com/in/dalerockell

FREE podcasts available on iTunes.

Plan your strategy - a marketing strategy where the 'product' is you.

Talk to people - network. As a friend of mine states "you don't know who you don't know". You're looking for contacts of your contacts - who do they know?

Utilise social networking to spread your message, although be careful if you're currently employed.

This really is your opportunity to do what you want to do. You can refuse a job as much as they can refuse you.

Are you looking for work, a job, or a career? The language you use is extremely important.

Your CV is your marketing collateral, make sure you know the content inside out and back to front.

Develop your marketing message and adapt according to positions you apply for.

Get used to talking about you. You are selling you.

Understand your personal values and assess whether a potential job and company is aligned to increase your job satisfaction.

Dale Rockell is a Personal Life Coach, Motivational Speaker and the Managing Director and Founder of Stress Free, a specialist working with schools and colleges to deliver highly effective and engaging solutions for PSHCE, SEAL and Every Child Matters, and Teacher effectiveness in the classroom.

Dale is also a trained facilitator for the Race Equality Foundations "Strengthening Families, Strengthening Communities" Inclusive Parenting programme.

further information is available at:

www.bestressfree.co.uk

www.dalecrockell-lifecoach.co.uk

www.twitter.com/dalerockell

www.linkedin.com/in/dalerockell

FREE podcasts available on iTunes.

I once stated networking "is as simple as a cup of coffee", and am reminded of it frequently!  But what exactly do I mean? Here are my pointers for successful networking.

There are varying opinions about the effectiveness of networking meetings and the differing formats available.

Should you pay for membership or pay as you go, have exclusivity as a discipline to corner the referrals or open for all for collaborative opportunities within your sector? Do you want a group focused heavily on referral exchange or one more about relationship development, knowledge transfer and support?

·         Networking and referrals are different ends of the spectrum: one about building a network, the other about sales and business.

·         Visit various groups as a guest and get a feel for which ones work for you.

·         Visit those meetings which have content relevant to your requirements rather than being obliged to attend one group weekly.

·         How well do you know the people for whom you've acquired cards? If you think there is some mutual benefit, arrange to meet for coffee to find out more about each other.

·         Remember, the first key to good communication is to "seek to understand" others (Dr Stephen Covey) before providing details about you.

·         Be aware of "send and receive", too much of the former contradicts the previous point.

·         Aim for a good geographic spread when planning your networking.

·         Look for opportunities to raise your profile, for example, as a speaker, organise an event. However if uncertain, do not feel obliged too early, just observe for a while.

·         If you see a business opportunity, highlight it. There is tremendous power in strategic partnerships and collaboration – including revenue!

·         Keep a record of your ROI (return on investment) - fees versus business acquired as a result of your activity, and adapt your strategy accordingly.

·         Finally, enjoy your networking otherwise there's no point investing your time and money - and other will be able to tell!

Dale Rockell is a Personal Life Coach, Motivational Speaker and the Managing Director and Founder of Stress Free, a specialist working with schools and colleges to deliver highly effective and engaging solutions for PSHCE, SEAL and Every Child Matters, and Teacher effectiveness in the classroom.  Dale is also a proactive member of Network Luton.

Dale is also a trained facilitator for the Race Equality Foundations "Strengthening Families, Strengthening Communities" Inclusive Parenting programme.

further information is available at:

www.bestressfree.co.uk

www.dalecrockell-lifecoach.co.uk

www.twitter.com/dalerockell

www.linkedin.com/in/dalerockell

FREE podcasts available on iTunes

In the current economic climate where there is increasing competition for each job opportunity, it is important to ensure that you do all that you can to make a good impression to potential employers.  While there is no such thing as a ‘perfect’ CV you can do a lot to make sure you get noticed.

Here are a few useful tips I've benefited from as both a job seeker and hiring manager that you may wish to consider when compiling and updating your CV:

1)    You Don't Know What Your Competition Has To Offer. 

     You can only do the best you can with the knowledge you have.  Improve your knowledge to give yourself

     a better chance.  Research the role, the company and competitors.

2)    Be Honest - enough said! 

However, do consider if you need to include certain facts as they may rule you out at the first hurdle. For example, are your highest qualifications a help, hindrance or an ego thing? I know you've invested a lot of time and money acquiring them, however consider the relevance if you really want or need that job.  Omitting them is not lying if priority is getting a salary in what may be a lower position. Experience and responsibility may be more important.

3)    Modify your CV for EVERY application or speculative approach.

Make sure it is relevant to the advertisement and/or company/division you're approaching.

4)    Maximum of two pages TOTAL for your CV. 

I once received an email of five pages for an admin role, there's no way I'm wading through that!  Your CV is an interest getter, a platform for discussion in an interview.

5)    Check, and double-check your spelling.

With spell checker there's NO excuse.

6)    Use a font that is easy to read. 

Remember this is a business document!

7)    Only use one font type throughout.

           Accentuate with bold, underline and italics, use one font size up for headings.

8)    Use consistent formatting. 

Ensure that if you're sending your CV by email that it will look good at the other end.  Send to a friend first to get their opinion. If you can, send as a pdf document to maintain formatting and keep file size down. There are free pdf converters available such as Cutepdf.

9)    Prepare you're CV yourself. 

You need to know the content inside out and back to front.  I often wonder if some CV's look too good and too professional.  Also if you're looking for a job where IT skills are required, prove YOU have them.

10)  Your CV is your personal sales and marketing document.

Keep information brief and to the point.  

Quantify and qualify the experience that answers what is being asked in the advertisement/job spec.

Detail the financial responsibilities and accountability of previous roles.

How much? How often?

Use bullet points.

Maximum two lines per point.

Get ‘expert’ books from the library and choose a style and approach which works best for you.

And finally, Good Luck!

Why not engage the support of a Coach to support you through your job search or to review your application approach and increase effectiveness?  Contact Dale for more information.

Dale Rockell MA, MCMI, LCH Dip

Life Coach, Motivational Speaker, Managing Director & Founder of Stress Free

With the summer season drawing to a close and the last UK public holiday until the festive season nearly upon us, the thoughts of many will be turning to their return to work and planning.

To help with maintaining a relaxed approach to your work and personal life, regardless your various roles and responsibilities here are some stress free tips for staying relaxed and peaceful.

• HayHouse Author, Carolyn Myss, sums it up well; 'if you need a special place and atmosphere to relax (meditate), the environment is doing the relaxing for you.
• The trick is to be relaxed and peaceful wherever you are, and whatever you're doing.
• Breathing is the key. Practice slowing your breathing down at all times. Your thoughts will be clearer, your words and actions more productive.
• I used to think that thinking about a future event too much was a weakness, until I turned it into a positive visualisation of how events would turn out when successful. Try it. You'll feel like you've already been there and done it, and enjoy it even more.
• Be mindful of the quality of your thoughts, words and actions towards yourself and others.
• Take regular 'me time' to recharge your batteries, even just 5 minutes at the start and end of each day. TV doesn't count, it actually increase your brain activity. Instead get into a good book, if you don't like reading get the audio version, or listen to calming music.
• Check out my recommended 'enlightening reads' for some inspiration.
• Be grateful for what and who you have in your life, and appreciate the lessons in each day. Be inquisitive about what you can learn and gain from every situation.
• Review each day and plan for the next so you can relax in your time.

Some Suggested Resources:

www.helpmechill.com - great short meditations

www.bkwsu.org - find a meditation course near you, or just attend the events free of charge

For more information and support to reduce the stress in your life contact Dale.

Dale Rockell MA, MCMI, LCH Dip

Life Coach, Motivational Speaker and Managing Director & Founder of Stress Free

T: 0870 803 2426  M: 07837 813479

www.bestressfree.co.uk & www.dalecrockell-lifecoach.co.uk

"This week I read about someone who had a near miss and just avoided a fatal car accident by the skin of her teeth.

She went on to say how this had been a wake up call with a positive twist.
'The next few months were really good. I had a bounce in my step, an attitude of gratitude and life was full, fun and promising.I realised too that I was especially grateful that I had decided to carve out a life doing something that I really enjoyed.'

Having had my own close call some years ago, I know exactly where she was coming from. When you get a glimpse into how fleeting and fragile life can be, you absolutely appreciate all that you have from that moment on.

If you are already coaching and loving it you will know what I am talking about. If not, are you happy where you are? Maybe you are still working on finding your passion. Far too many people spend their lives in a job or career where the only passion is getting their wage or salary. If this is you, explore something that you'd pretty much like to do and go for it. From there you can fine tune, move ever closer to what really floats your boat and one day, you'll wake up to what a great life you have created.

Stay safe and don't wait for a traumatic wake up call. You already have the power to choose your future, maybe it just hasn't dawned on you yet. Explore our website with this in mind and find some useful signposts for your next step.

Now you know why I so often sign off with these three little words.

Love and life,

Curly" (Martin)

Extract from Achievement Specialists Newsletter, August 2009, www.achievementspecialists.co.uk. 

Dale trained for his Life Coaching Diploma with Curly and Achievement Specialists in December 2006.  To find out more about living the life you want to feel, see and hear, contact Dale for a FREE 20 minute consultation to find out how coaching supports YOUR ambitions.

Throughout my work, and particularly during recent coaching sessions and meetings, there has been considerable discussion around the subject of role models.

As far as I can ascertain there are two camps on this.

Firstly, there are those who think people must select their role models from a list of individuals deemed worthy to be role models, that is they meet some 'criteria' that is 'acceptable'.

Secondly those who think anyone can be someone's role model, and seem to lean towards role models who are, and more specifically because they are "rich and famous".

Due to my various roles I am also involved in a lot of discussion around role models from a person’s cultural and ethnic background.  All of this raises several points for discussion.

• What is a role model and what does having a role model imply?
• Who can, or who should be a role model?
• What is the impact of 'celebrity culture' on role models?
• Does a role model have to be from your own cultural, ethical or be of the same sex, or sexual orientation?

So, what is a role model, what does having a role model imply, and who can, or should be a role model?

As part of the Stress Free sessions, we look at role models as a path to uncovering values that individuals feel are important to them.  Often they are not aware of these values, or able to put a label on them, however they know what to them if acceptable or not.

To me, anyone can be a role model.  However, more than the person identified as a role model, it is the initial reason for which they have been selected which is often the cause for concern.  Let me explain using some examples that have come up in Stress Free sessions.

50 Cent

During a session with 10 year old pupils, 5 or 6 boys indentified 50 Cent as a role model.  I had heard the name however I knew nothing of this individual apart from the fact that I thought he might be a Rap artist.  To confirm my understanding I asked, ‘who is 50 Cent and why is he one of your role models?’  The response sent the blood draining from the teacher at the back of the room.  “Because he got shot 9 times and lived” was the direct and instantaneous reply, rather too enthusiastically for my liking.

Many I have discussed this with jump in at this point with the hope that I responded with ‘that doesn’t make a very good role model please come up with something better’.  Not me, the skill, and thrill of facilitating a Stress Free session is thinking on your feet with what you’re given.

So I responded assertively, ‘9 times in one event, or 9 separate times?  Either way that’s really careless and I trust that none of you will EVER make a decision that puts your life in such a situation am I understood?’

‘Now, accepting that being shot at all is not a reason for someone to be a role model, let’s think about someone who is seriously ill lying in their hospital bed.  They could decide their time is up, or they can choose to get better and turn their life around like Mr Cent, who is now a successful artist and businessman.  What did he need to do that?’

As a result of the ongoing discussion and facilitation of their thinking ‘belief in himself, courage, determination, people around him, strength’ were some of the identified values.  So now we have identified the values you like in someone else, how do you, or how will you use these in your life from this point forward?’  By now the colour

was coming back to the teachers face.

As the discussion goes on, incorporating the values identified in other role models, and the role models of other participants, the role model themselves becomes redundant, with the focus now firmly on incorporating positive values in our personal lives.

Katie Price, aka Jordan.

So what was the reason for Katie Price as a role model for a 15 year old?  The answer, ‘because I want to be a model and rich and famous.’  This being in a business focused session and for other obvious reasons (to the relief of the teacher), I directed this to look at why Katie Price is so popular and successful, that being that she is an astute business woman, now estimated to have generated a personal wealth of over £30m.

A discussion ensued of how Katie Price has achieved this wealth and popularity through creating a separate entity called ‘Jordan’, choosing to reveal her real identity when it suited her, providing constant media coverage possibly through having absolutely no personal life whatsoever so that it will make it into the celebrity magazines and tabloid press, and even into her own TV show (which, by the way, I’ve never watched). 

The values of determination, focus and ambition amongst others were identified, and a dawning realisation and consideration for who exactly this type of fame and fortune has an impact.  After all, it’s not just the individual themselves that will be of interest to the media.  Family and friends will also be pulled into the mix.  Are you clever enough to manage your PR so that what is printed is what you want without hurting those around you?  Or strong enough emotionally for what may be printed about you and those you care about?

One thing is certain, role models will change according to your roles and challenges in life, and it’s important to remember that role models cannot and do not motivate you.  Unless you are lucky enough to have direct contact with one or more of your role models, in which case they would become mentors, all a role model will provide is inspiration for you to aspire to make something of your life, be it the values by which you live, or what you achieve professionally, personally, spiritually and materially.

There are what many would perceive to be more worthy role models that can easily provide examples of the values and self-discipline that would make the world a better place to live.  From the famous including Nelson Mandela, Oprah Winfrey, His Holiness The Dalai Lama, Buddha and other religious and spiritual icons, David Beckham, Barack Obama  and William Shakespeare, to those closer to home, our family, friends, teachers and work colleagues.

The challenge is being able to extract positive values of benefit to the individual to enhance their life, from whoever they choose to be their role model.  By pushing our expectations on others of who we think should be their role models is missing the point and will only backfire.  All we can do is share our opinion and inform.

What is the impact of 'celebrity culture' on role models?

I have already alluded to two examples where what is referred to as celebrity has an influence on who someone may pick as a role model.  It is more likely that individuals will pick someone constantly in the limelight, in the perfect pictures of glossy magazines, however they’re not often buying into that person, they are hankering after a life style that is being portrayed.

What does the word celebrity mean?

For me celebrity is a word which has lost its meaning.  To me it describes someone who is celebrated for their talent.  As a fan of the older movies, think Humphrey Bogart, James Stewart, Laurel & Hardy, Cary Grant, Doris Day, Audrey Hepburn etc, these people had real talent that was celebrated.  Musicians likewise, Hendrix, Lennon and many others had real talent, something that could be identified and justify their status as an example of why they were successful.

It will be of no surprise to you that when young people share their role models, there are many I have not heard of.  As you’ve seen/heard previously, this is not an obstacle to a great coaching session.  The same is true for participants when I share my role models, even, would you believe Richard Branson, although they’ve just about heard of Will Smith and Shakira.  My other examples are Gary Moore, a guitarist, and Coach Tony Robbins.  My main comment here is why are they a so called celebrity?  What have they done, what are their skills and personal and professional values that make a positive contribution to society? 

There are now so many TV channels that anyone can be on TV, especially with the deluge of reality TV.  This does not make them famous, or rich, and it can be very short lived.  Being a celebrity, being rich and/or famous is for me, not a worthy outcome.  It’s what you do with it if acquired, how you would value this achievement, how you would use it for the better good is more important than being recognised on the street.  After all, there have been, and still are many materially and financially poor people who have given so much to the world without taking much back in return for themselves – think of Gandhi and Mother Theresa, and monks amongst others.

Does a role model have to be from your own cultural or ethical background or be of the same sex, or sexual orientation?

In short no.  There is much made today of cultural and sexual diversity and I believe we should embrace role models from all backgrounds and beliefs.  A good mix of inquisitiveness and understanding of others is paramount when nurturing our own values and belief system.  My personal draw has always been to the eastern philosophies especially Buddhism, and while I’m not a practicing Buddhist much of what I have read has only improved the quality of my life, by a personal choice to use it.  I also have many friends and acquaintances from various ethnic backgrounds and it fascinates me to hear of their family history and experiences, and to taste the wonderful foods.  I am passionate that my son has exposure to this rich mix of history and information.

My wife recently noted that I had a lack of female role models in my notes.  I had no answer, I really didn’t know why that would be the case.  That same day we saw a news story about Shakira investing her riches into schools for the poor in her native Columbia.  She continues to record and generate wealth so that she can keep this personal ambition alive.  Enough said, she’s now in my notes for the Role Models session as a fantastic example of what can be achieved with talent and a focus and personal passion to help others. 

Call to Action

I have only touched the surface here of this enlightening and fascinating subject, of which debate will continue for some time.  I trust that I have given you a flavour of how Stress Free uses this subject towards the personal development of the individuals we work with, from young people to adults. 

Many will have differing views to those I have shared here and I’d like to hear them.  If you want to comment on anything you’ve read in any of my Blogs or heard in my Podcasts, you can contact me by email.

To close I’d like you to consider your role models, and find out who the role models are of those closest to you, without judgement.  What are the values that you do, or would like to incorporate into your life? 

Until next time, stay Stress Free.  And if you’re having trouble doing that, give us a call.

If you like what you've read please pass it on to your friends and contacts, however please do give credit where it's due and link/reference back to www.dalecrockell-lifecoach.co.uk.

If you'd like to discuss working with Dale and Stress Free contact us.

A common misconception during my work is that Coaching, Mentoring, Counselling and Mediation are the same, or at least similar.  All of these do offer unique benefits depending upon an individual's and organisation's requirements, so here's my quick reference guide to how the differ and complement each other.

Coaching

Coaching starts with 'You Are Here!'  Where would you like to go? What is your goal or goals? What would you like to do, achieve, experience, be? How could you achieve this starting today.  Who can you speak to?  Who do you know?  Why is this important to you?

Mentoring

Mentoring is sharing of experience, 'been there, go the t-shirt', showing you the way, recommending a course of action.  Mentors can motivate you, inspire you to aspire to be like them.  Not to be confused with Role Models (more in future postings).

Counselling

Counselling starts with, 'ok you're here and not happy with something, let's look at how you got here'.  A path to understanding where you've been, and how you arrived at the time, place, situation you're now experiencing.

Mediation

Mediation is a third party taking a detatched view of a disagreement or issue between two other parties.  Mediators should be completely impartial and not get involved in either side of the discussion, looking to achieve a mutually beneficial outcome - also referred to as win/win.

We hope you enjoy and benefit from the Dale C. Rockell postings.  If you have found this of benefit please pass on to your family, friends and contacts, but please ensure you give credit where it’s due and reference/link back to www.dalecrockell-lifecoach.co.uk.

In 2002 I had the privilege of building my own electric guitar on a fantastic five days with Mark and Carol of Bailey Guitars.

Watching two pieces of wood become a quality guitar through my own effort and Mark's amazing attention to detail and patience was so rewarding. (See picture on left to see final result, and you can watch my progress by acquiring their DVD.)

During one of the many music related discussions we spoke about performing live and the impromptu evenings that take place in many towns. Here you turn up with your guitar, put your name on the list and perform either solo or with a house band if you choose.

I admitted that I was extremely daunted by this at which point Carol said, 'well don't take your guitar, go a few times, check it out, get a feel for it, see if you like the way it's run, see if you feel comfortable, then decide'.

This has been one of the most valuable pieces of advice I have ever received, and which has enabled me to move on so much in many areas of my life since.

Now back to the present in my profession as a Coach, and discussions with clients and colleagues.  There are many discussions around social and on-line networking, with many unsure how or where to start.  What is Twitter? Should I be tweeting? How do I use LinkedIn? Should I be on Facebook? What do I put in my Blog? Should I have a Blog? Where should I network? And the list goes on. 

The advice I received applies to all areas of life, and is so simple, yet amazes everyone I share it with.

If you're not sure where to start firstly don't feel under pressure to make major leaps and contributions from day one.  If you're unsure about an online tool, create a login and look up, connect to, or in the case of Twitter, follow a few people you respect and see how they're using it.  If it's an off-line forum such as a network/referral group, go as a guest and check it out - does it work for you?

Get a feel for what it may do for you, decide if it's business, personal or a mix of the two (this is how I choose to tweet).  Google your questions and you'll invariably find many Blog postings providing a myriad of advice and share experience, then make an informed decision and go at your own pace.

Thanks to this advice I now have no hesitation getting involved in many situations, including playing my guitar and singing in public, which I have now done many times.

So, what have you been uncertain about doing?  How, with this advice will you move forward and start to investigate something you have been unsure of?

These simple, yet highly effective words of wisdom have really made a difference to my personal and professional life, and been a turning point for many I have shared it with.  Do let me know how this or any of the Stress Free postings and confidence tips have helped you.

Dale Rockell MA, MCMI, LCH Dip

Life Coach, Motivational Speaker, Founder of Stress Free

Facilitator of Strengthening Families, Strengthening Communities

Contact Dale for a FREE 20 minute consultation to find out how coaching can support your personal, professional and family challenges.

A FREE 20 minute consultation is currently available if you'd like to find out how personal coaching can support you to work through a personal, professional or family challenge, and a unique opportunity to undertake further personal coaching with Dale Rockell, Life Coach , Motivational Speaker and Founder of the Stress Free brand.

Sessions are available regardless of your geographic location and can be undertaken either on the telephone (at cost to client), FREE via Skype (phone & video for pre-arranged calls only), and for those within travelling distance of Dale in Bedfordshire, UK, sessions can be face-to-face in a suitable public location (travel time may be charged).

 “Thoughtful, inspirational and well organised - a thorough professional.” 

Paul Hayward of In Your Dreams Coaching

Payment can be made on-line in GBP, EUR, USD, AUD & CAD via the security of Paypal.

Contact Dale NOW to find out more with a FREE 20 minute consultation, and hear more from Dale via the FREE Stress Free Podcasts.

Stress is inevitable in all areas of our lives, personal and professional.  It’s good to have some stress, it keeps us alert and motivated, produces the adrenaline we need to meet challenges.  However, as all to often seems to be the case, the demands of modern life and business are becoming too much for many to cope with, resulting in a diagnosis of ‘stress’, whether self diagnosis or otherwise.

Stress is viewed by many as a mental health issue and the World Health Organisation describe good mental health as “a state of well-being in which the individual realises his or her own abilities, can cope with the normal stresses of life...and is able to make a contribution to his or her community”, (also read family, business etc.)  So stress related illness is technically an inability to cope with the demands placed upon us, and we all have varying pain thresholds which we are able to individually tolerate.

As I’ve mentioned many times, stress is used as a catch all phrase for addressing the myriad of elements and emotions that may be the root cause, including anger, sadness, fear, guilt and many others, and to a business handling the fall out of stress related illness in staff has become a costly exercise to manage.

Now let me ask you a question.  Would you rather have to manage a situation which causes pain, or would you rather look for a solution, that when invested in, would move you towards a more productive and pain-free existence?

Of course, you would opt for the pain-free or at least less painful solution every time. 

Now let me add that this investment by you and your business involves payment for the expertise.  Is it still attractive?  This question invariably gets a large pause, and the how much question, running away from the ££ signs.  All of a sudden, I’m asking a business to invest even more money when this pain is costing so much?

Now let me put it to you, that by investing financially in the pain-free solution, it will substantially cut the costs that you’re now experiencing as a result of stress related illness with your employees, for the long-term, as long as you’re prepared to maintain the investment in yourself, your leadership team and the new leadership style that will be required.  Sounds attractive again doesn’t it? 

I’m so confident that you can manage stress effectively in your business that I’ll base 50% of my fee on your business' expected savings and take a percentage cut of the first year instead, as will many a quality coach.  We’re driven by seeing your business succeed, and yes, it’s good for our CV too!  Everyone wins!  Win/Win!

It’s at times like this that a business can feel that the world and their partner are against them, ‘everything is in favour of the employee’ [applies to UK Employment Law], however if the business owners don’t give themselves a break, and see the wood for the trees, they may not have a business to cling on to. 

By being proactive and investing in developing a long-term pain-free solution a business can address any pain that occurs with minimal disruption.  There is one caveat, that being EVERYONE has to be on board, NO EXCEPTIONS.  This means that management often have to re-think their current practice, be honest, look at what is not working and be the change.

Stress in business is a result of the collective effort, or lack of.  Everyone from top management down has a responsibility and interest, personally and professionally to address it.  There are many factors implicated in this, and each business scenario will have its own unique requirements.  For the purpose of this posting/podcast I’ll focus on the basics of what can be done and how.

I know, through my network contacts, that many businesses, particularly small to medium enterprises (to 250 employees) engage professional support and counsel once the horse has left the stable, reacting to a situation with a view to keeping costs down, be it HR professionals, coaches, business consultants or other support.

This often is a false economy and even more stressful on the organisation and those within.  Instead, business has to look at the cost of such support as a necessary investment, like the oil in your car engine.  Without it everything will grind to a halt and be very expensive to correct, if indeed it’s not beyond repair altogether.  Professional services are the oil and regular checks to your business’ well-being. 

An effective professional team will make the required processes, systems and ongoing maintenance including personal and personnel development feel natural and comfortable, like a well maintained machine.  Neglect your business and employees because you’re too busy maintaining turnover, or you see addressing a challenge as a hindrance because people should get a grip, and you’ll be investing in some expensive repair bills in terms of time and money.

Another factor to consider is getting the mix of support right for your business.  Throughout my network I have often said that I have everyone I need to support the successful growth of Stress Free and related activities.  I have a mind map of where each third party sits as my business demands their skills, and why.

Every business is the same, and if employing these roles is too costly you can easily surround yourself and your business with a vast range of professionals who want to see your business succeed.  Some businesses have fallen into the trap of experiencing a problem, calling HR to sort it out, then carrying on as before, until the next time when they’ll call their trouble shooters again.

HR of course has its place and is necessary to meet the minefield of legal requirements.  It will tighten your processes and procedures however you can only get tight and tough to a certain degree before employees start to feel the strain, or worse pull away.  In today’s world, where stress related illness is a major reason for absence in the workplace, one key reason is the lack of flexibility in the workplace.  In fact, introducing flexibility in the right environment is a wonderful way of lightening your load, generating ideas, many of which may be money saving, (are you interested now?), and developing cohesion amongst your employees.  Are you ready to let go a little and relieve your stress?

Complementary factors such as personal development, coaching and mentoring allow all individuals to feel comfortable with going that extra mile when needed, although not all the time.  By providing employees with the skills to cope with stress, regardless of whether it’s work or home related, a business is demonstrating their commitment to their duty of care for those they have employed.  If anyone tries to tell you that businesses can afford not to care about the whole person, rather than just the worker element in today’s climate, they are very much mistaken.

So in summary I have one question. 

Can a business really ignore the need to address stress related illness when they complain bitterly of the pain it is causing?  Of course, the answer is no.

Once you’ve decided enough is enough, give Stress Free a call and we’ll put together a highly professional and competent partnership of coaches and HR professionals that will take you and your business from ‘could be better’, to ‘absolutely fantastic’.  Oh, and you'll start saving money too!

As some of you know one of my many roles is as Company Secretary for Luton Young Leaders Academy.  It is a great honour to be able to announce the following event.  Everyone is welcome to what will be an inspirational event.

Kind Regards, Dale

It’s not only adults who get stressed out.   Children, too, react to stress, particularly when they don’t totally understand what the problems within their family are or how they can help overcome them. It’s often difficult for those who care for them to understand youngsters’ concerns or to communicate with them to help them put their worries into perspective.  All too often, anxiety, apparent inability to concentrate and bad Behaviour are read by carers as 'normal symptoms’ of ‘growing up’.  But they could well be signs that a young person is fighting to come to terms with perceived beliefs rather than real comprehension of a situation, and in these traumatic credit-crunch times, when adults may unthinkingly discuss their concerns within hearing of their children, it’s easy for even little ones to pick up on their parents’ concerns and misconstrue them as somehow being their 'fault'.

Life Coach Dale Rockell, Managing Director of Stress Free, believes that when children and young people are taught how to manage their emotions, they can overcome problems, deal with difficult situations and feel empowered to make informed decisions.   He believes his programme, Stress Free, can empower children as young as seven, help them manage their feelings and discover how much they have to offer to their families, their schools, their communities and the world at large. 

Dale explains.  “I recognised some time ago that children do not have the same extensive outside support system as adults.  The programme I offer supports schools and organisations working with young people to offer that support and is aligned with the UK Government initiatives for personal development that teachers will be familiar with.  These include PSHE (Personal Social and Health Education), SEAL (Social and Emotional Aspects of Learning), Every Child Matters, Citizenship and PeLTS  (Personal Learning and Thinking Skills).   

He adds:  “I am looking to encourage pro-active discussion through thought provoking activities.  My team and I want to offer our young participants an understanding of what they have to offer.

“The  Stress Free programme is designed to help youngsters develop their skills and look ahead to be able to recognise opportunities as they arise and create them when they don’t.   I want them to understand how they can make a positive contribution to their families, their schools, their communities and the larger world outside and to learn how to respect others and themselves.”

Dale has been working with youngsters in Beds and Essex on a regular basis and is currently attached to Barnfield College of Further Education in Luton, with the UK's first Studio School pilot.

For further information on the work of Stress Free or to interview Dale contact him at hello@bestressfree.co.uk   Website www.bestress.free.co.uk   or call 0870 803 2426 or mobile 07837813479  

Dale Rockell, Managing Director and Founder, Stress Free

With thanks to Andrea Kon

In this modern world of constant sound bites, one of the most underestimated personal resources at our disposal is the power of silence.

There are two types of silence, internal (what’s going on inside, often referred to as being centred, at peace with ourselves), and external, (what we contribute to the world through our words and actions). 

In previous Blogs I’ve written about the power of our thoughts, words and actions, and as anyone who has heard me speak will know, it is the basis of where we start in building our confidence and being more effective.

Internal silence comes about as a result of quietening those constant, often negative thoughts, the thoughts that don’t add any positive value to our lives.  Being in the moment is something we have all experienced, when you’re so into what you’re doing or observing that time just flies past.  It’s at these moments that you feel a complete sense of peace, and that all is well with the world.  The trick, through whatever works for you, is how to stop all of the negative internal chatter, develop more positive, value-adding chatter and appreciate what is good in your world.

External silence is a challenge to most, where many feel they have to say something to be involved.  I once attended a business event with my colleagues, and someone observed that I was really quiet.  Without hesitation my boss responded, ‘when Dale has something to contribute it will be worth saying’. 

When I thought more about this it turned things around for me.  Apart from being a fantastic compliment, by being present and merely observing I was still contributing, not feeling that I had to talk for the sake of it, and when I did contribute, it would be valued.  As I have practiced this more and more I prefer being silent, just listening and observing, and then I’m able to respond to what has been said or done, rather than saying what I think needs to be said and having missed the point.

Put the power of silence into practice.

1.       The next time you’re in a group and dying to say something notice the hesitation from your gut and heart brains, this is telling you that now isn’t the right time – practice not saying or doing something.  Just be present.  Enjoy the atmosphere and know that often being present is enough.

2.       In conversation just listen, focus on what is being said by others and do not feel that you have to contribute unnecessarily.

3.       This is the best one and believe me it REALLY works, and that’s the job interview or any other important meeting.  How often do you find yourself rambling, not knowing when to stop, or waiting for the other person to jump in, or jumping in halfway through someone’s question without letting them finish? 

The power of silence means that once you have said what needs saying, for example, answering the question that has been asked, you STOP! 

When you feel the need to jump in on someone else’s questions or comments, you STOP! 

If the other person doesn’t say anything don’t worry, you’ve done your bit, don’t start again just to fill the silence.  Relax. Smile. Wait.  They may be considering your reply, thinking of their next question, wanting another coffee, tired after a whole day of meetings, or wishing they were on a tropical beach somewhere! 

The power of silence also means you hear what is being said and asked, accurately.  Your internal chatter has stopped.  You’re not worrying what others think about you, you’re happy with who you are and what you’ve said.  You’re ready and waiting. 

The power of silence is also useful before you reply to someone.  Take a few seconds to consider the question, think a few key points through then respond.  Breathe slowly and deeply then your thoughts and words will be clear, concise and make an impact.

I’ve used personally the power of silence to great effect, as have others I’ve shared it with, replies include, ‘it’s so simple and made that my best interview EVER!’  You’ll notice that others may be uncomfortable with silence as they do not expect it – so more power and confidence to you as a result.

Meditation is an excellent way of becoming comfortable with silence and inner peace.  For some great short exercises listen or download the free podcasts at www.helpmechill.com.  If you want to study in more detail, take a look at www.bkwsu.org for courses local to you and available worldwide.

Until next time stay Stress Free and keep working on that confidence!

Stress is a choice!

Other people stress us out only if we choose to let them.  Dr Steven Covey author of the 7 habits of highly effective people describes ‘choosing our ability to respond’ to events and situations – you choose to be happy or angry – it’s all about having the confidence to be you and true to who you want to be.  Stress comes from within, it is a result of your thoughts about what has been said or done, and the mixture of feelings created.   Learn to process these feelings one by one, your stress will reduce and your confidence will be increased.

Dale Rockell MA, MCMI, LCH Dip

Life Coach, Managing Director & Founder of Stress Free

Dale recently undertook a coaching workshop in partnership with Paul Hayward of In Your Dreams Coaching at a special Network Luton breakfast event.  The event was based on Stephen Covey's 7 Habits of Highly Effective People and provided a unqiue insight into 4 of the habits:

Win/Win, Communication, Sharpening the Saw & Begin with the End in Mind

Here are some of the comments posted on LinkedIn about Dale's contribution to the event:

“It is both rewarding and educational to co-present with Dale. He is thoughtful, inspirational and well organised - a thorough professional. When delivering a dual presentation there is always a concern that your partner will either hijack the audience or, unknowingly, create a difficult situation. Not with Dale. I would welcome the opportunity to work with Dale again, confident that the outcome will be assured."  Paul Hayward, In Your Dreams Coaching

“Dale conceived, developed and delivered an excellent training session for my group that participants enjoyed, valued and what's more moved many to action. The higher-level concepts that Dale was working with were distilled and presented in such a way that participants were able to relate to their own life experiences and easily process. Dale's style of delivery is extremely personal and engaging and whilst he's not afraid of challenging an audience his supportive style means that participants will learn and will not feel excluded or singled-out.” 

Steve Whiting, Founder Network Luton

Be aware of what your body is telling others and more importantly what it tells you about how you feel.

You can change how you feel just by being aware of your body language.  Straighten your back, drop your shoulders, hold your head up – look at the sky instead of the pavement.  Look people in the eyes when you’re talking to them and smile in a way that says ‘I’m happy being me’.  In the mirror, look yourself in the eyes and tell yourself how much you trust and love the person you see. It may take a while however perservere and learn to love YOU! 

Now, head up and go and have a GREAT day!

Dale Rockell MA, MCMI, LCH Dip

Life Coach, Managing Director & Founder of Stress Free

We hope you enjoy and benefit from the Dale C. Rockell postings.  If you have found this of benefit please pass on to your family, friends and contacts, but please ensure you give credit where it’s due and reference/link back to www.dalecrockell-lifecoach.co.uk.

If you'd like to discuss your personal ambitions in more detail contact Dale at mail@dalecrockell-lifecoach.co.uk, or 07837 813479 for a FREE 20 minute consultation.

1) Coaching is the same as Counselling, Mentoring & Mediation

Counselling looks at where you've been and how you arrived at your current situation.

Mentoring shares experience relevant to your ambitions - 'been there got the t-shirt'

Mediation is detached, third party support to move towards an agreement between two or more parties.

Coaching looks at where you are and where you'd like to be, usually in a specified time frame.  Coaching breaks the journey into 'bite size' chunks and supports you through the challenges you'll encounter.  No other role will challenge you like coaching.

2) Coaching is only for the 'bad' times.

It is if you need the so called 'bad' times to provide the kick start you need.  Coaching is proactive and challenges you like no other support mechanism to achieve the personal and professional life you want.

Many people, already deemed successful, retain the support of a coach to maintain momentum and ongoing success. Even Coaches often have a Coach to stay on top of their game.

Why wait until you hit the rocks before you decide on a new direction?

3) All Life Coaches are the same!

In most circumstances a Coach does not need to be an expert in your requirements, although you may feel this could be an advantage. We are all unique individuals with unique backgrounds, experience, knowledge and qualifications.  Every Coach will have very powerful questioning techniques, challenging your assumptions and behaviours that no longer work for you.

You should ensure that over and above technical skills you feel you can work with your chosen Coach. They will also be considering if they can work effectively with you. A good Coach will admit if they feel you're better working with someone else, and may be able to recommend a suitable alternative.

Speak to more than one Coach and note your gut feel on a scale of 1 to 10 (1 is low, 10 is high). The Coach with the highest score could well be the right one for you.

4) Coaching is Expensive.

Coaching is a professional service. In all areas of life you invest your hard earned money into goods and services you feel will add value to your life.  Coaching is no different. 

How much do you REALLY want that change, promotion, relationship etc?

Dale Rockell MA, MCMI, LCH Dip

Life Coach, Managing Director & Founder of Stress Free

We hope you enjoy and benefit from the Dale C. Rockell postings.  If you have found this of benefit please pass on to your family, friends and contacts, but please ensure you give credit where it’s due and reference/link back to www.dalecrockell-lifecoach.co.uk.

Our ultimate responsibility is to take responsibility for our thoughts, words and actions. 

Out thoughts are the sponsor of everything we say and everything we do.  When you have good thoughts about you and your lot in life – that is you want what you have, your words and actions will be the best they can be, benefiting you and those around you.  By concentrating on these responsibilities it will naturally lead to better interactions with others, and better outcomes for all concerned.  Try it now with some nice thoughts or memories and notice the difference in how you feel and keep it going for the rest of the day.

Dale Rockell MA, MCMI, LCH Dip

Life Coach, Managing Director & Founder of Stress Free

We hope you enjoy and benefit from the Dale C. Rockell postings.  If you have found this of benefit please pass on to your family, friends and contacts, but please ensure you give credit where it’s due and reference/link back to www.dalecrockell-lifecoach.co.uk.

Using your THREE Brains!

How do you use YOUR three brains?  That’s right, all three of them!  I mean are you REALLY consciously aware of using them to make better decisions and have more confidence.

You may be thinking, ‘well I have one in my head, although it’s been suggested that sometimes it’s slipped to other regions of my body!’

Well, you do have three brains. We all do, and now it’s time to start using ALL three to improve YOUR life.

First brain is your GUT.  It’s that ‘gut feel’ for something, it gives you information through feelings and emotions.  This is often referred to as instinct, intuition, inspiration.  Notice when you have these moments that you put your hand to your stomach.

Second brain is your HEART.  Your heart brain gives you more information through feelings and emotions, you ‘know something with all your heart’ to be true.  This often kicks in with excitement, fear, anxiety and of course, love and attraction to others.  Notice when you have these moments that you put your hand to your chest.

Third brain is in your HEAD.  Before now, this is the brain many use 99.9% of the time to make decisions in their life.  It overrides the information from the other brains to rationalise with all the other information and social conditioning you have at your disposal.  To this point you let it override the other brains.

The human race have become conditioned to use the HEAD brain to make decisions, at the expense of what our GUT and HEART brains are telling us.  How often have you said or done something, perhaps after hesitation, to then say ‘I knew I shouldn’t have said/done that!’?

This tip comes from my second brain to you, and encourages you to start listening to your GUT and HEART brains more, taking time to notice and review the feelings and emotions experienced before allowing your HEAD brain to work on the situation. 

All too often the messages speed at a million miles an hour to our HEAD brain to be over-processed and rationalised, removing all sense and feeling from the original message because we have so much to do and need to get to the next thing.

Notice what your GUT and HEART brains are telling you about this Confidence Tip.  Do you feel good reading it?  If so, it has meaning for you, hold that for a while.  The more you practice this you’ll notice how much clearer you head feels, and how much easier decision making has become.

For further reading I highly recommend taking a look at “The Other 90% ” by Robert Cooper, which I have read many times for inspiration.

Dale Rockell MA, MCMI, LCH Dip - Life Coach, Managing Director & Founder of Stress Free

We hope you enjoy and benefit from the Dale C. Rockell postings.  If you have found this of benefit please pass on to your family, friends and contacts, but please ensure you give credit where it’s due and reference/link back to www.dalecrockell-lifecoach.co.uk.

Copyright Dale C. Rockell Ltd, 2009

What have you been putting off and waiting for a ‘better time’ to do?  Why are you getting in your own way?  This is also referred to as passive/aggressive behaviour - the 'self-destruct' button of all the valid reasons why something can wait, won't happen, or you put in all that effort only to sabotage yourself before achieving your goal.

Here are a couple of examples common in my work;

'Well I've come to school, but don't expect me to do any work.' 

'People like me/us don't get to do things like that.'

'There's not enough time/money.'

'I haven't spoken to them in so long.'

'I have to .....(go to work, go to school, do this, do that....)

Why not go and do it anyway?  Not sure where to start - just pick somewhere.  Decide to make the most of it (for example, your education), Google it, make a call, talk to someone about it, share it on your social network (commit yourself!), you never know who they know, and who they know who can help you.  Don't second guess the possible reaction of others (see Confidence Tip # 1).

The description of FEAR is False Evidence Appearing Real – what you focus on, your anticipated outcome, whether success or failure, is what you’ll more than likely experience.  As Susan Jeffers  states "feel the fear and do it anyway".  See how fantastic you feel just by taking the first step, then the next, then the next.  Keep a journal or picture board of progress to maintain motivation towards YOUR target.

"Every journey starts with a single step" Chinese Proverb

Complete that task you’ve been putting off, focus on enjoying that meeting you’ve been dreading, plan that event you've been putting off.  EXPECT to enjoy yourself and EXPECT to succeed and you will!  The saying goes – ‘fake it until you make it!’  Well you don't have to fake it, otherwise you'll experience disappointment with the thought 'I know this isn't meant to be', instead, picture repeatedly in your mind how it looks, feels and sounds.  By the time you do whatever it is, you'll feel like you've been there a million times.

What are YOU going to do for YOUR personal growth and sense of achievement today?  Be the YOU that YOU want to be (remembering to ensure that you continue to make a positive contribution to your family and society through the quality of your thoughts, words and actions).  And remember whatever happens, you will be provided with valuable lessons for the benefit of YOUR future.

Good luck and enjoy your experience!

Dale Rockell MA, MCMI, LCH Dip

Life Coach, Managing Director & Founder of Stress Free

Give credit where it's due.  You may reproduce or quote this posting in part of full however please ensure you refer it back to www.dalecrockell-lifecoach.co.uk .

Copyright Dale C. Rockell Ltd, 2009

Don’t worry what other people think of you, because actually most people are worrying what you think about them!  Spending time comparing yourself to others will drain your confidence further, and at the end of the day you are you. 

Concentrate on what you need to think of you, make those thoughts about who you are as positive as possible and work on them every day.  Focus on your strengths, what you want to be, and how you want to feel.  After all you are living your life!

Dale Rockell, Life Coach and

Managing Director & Founder of Stress Free

Give credit where it's due.  You may reproduce this posting in part, or in full, however please ensure you link back to www.dalecrockell-lifecoach.co.uk.

"As a manager and leader, I am in no doubt that you have been affected by the turbulent times in our global economy. Do you find yourself running for cover, and do you have the skills you need to survive these challenging times?

Join us to gain insights and practical advice from some leading business figures who will seek to address some of the very real issues you are facing. We will also present the actions you will need to take to steer your organisation through the current recession."

This extract is quoted from an email encouraging me, as a member, to attend a professional conference.  I know that fear sells and appreciate an event's agenda has to be relevant to the current headlines.  However I spend my time coaching individuals who want to focus on and understand what is actually happening for them rather than believing the hype and press telling us we must be experiencing, or must be feeling. 

Actually, as it happens, business is going rather well despite the fact, apparently, that I must be finding it a challenge in such "turbulent times".  I also like the certainly that I have been affected - so much for knowing your target audience!!  The "very real issues" I am facing are the prospect of a fantastic year with significant growth and projects I may have only dreamed of as an employee, after 2 years commitment of time and financial investment.  My hard work in establishing a new business in a challenging sector are paying off.

This sales pitch shows that such organisations are geared towards the coporate sector, where headcount is cut at the slightest whim or sign or uncertainty, thereby creating a climate of uncertainty for individuals, what good is this going to do if it affects performance at work?  The possibility will become a probability, then a certainty as business fights to maintain productivity. 

In reality this economic climate is a breeding ground for small business.  Individuals who decide, or have it decided for them (like me in 2006) that being their own boss may be the next move, identifying a gap in the market which their corporate employer is unable to serve, or changing profession completely (again like me).

That is not to say that some small businesses (and this covers up to 250 employees), are not finding it a challenge and need tips for recovery, however it must not be assumed at the expense of proactive solutions and the sharing of success stories and best practice to inspire further success and innovation. 

I recently heard that the definition of news is something from the norm.  However if everyone is telling us how awful the economy is, isn't that the norm?  Surely stories of success are what is needed to inspire and shine brightly in the eyes of the doom sayers who benefit from perpetuating this 'reality'.

I for one take a look around and come to my own conclusions about whether times are challenging or not.  Some see a challenge as a negative, I see it as an opportunity to learn, progress and grow, so while everyone else is looking for the turbulence in their lives, excuse me while I remain extremely positive and enjoy the rollercoaster ride of entreprenuership.  And it's not just me.  Of the many small business owners I have regular contact with, mainly individuals doing what they do best and efficiently, all I hear is how 'business is going well thank you!'

Dale Rockell MA, LCH Dip

Life Coach & Managing Director of Stress Free

You may reproduce or forward this posting in part, or in full, however please ensure that you reference it to www.dalecrockell-lifecoach.co.uk.   Copyright Dale C. Rockell Ltd, 2009.

I know, you've already heard and read enough on the issue of MP's expense claims, particularly those relating to a second property. 

What's blatantly apparent in the hollow apologies and rapid repayments is the vast difference between what is perceived as appropriate expenditure with tax payers money between those that spend and claim, and those that provide the means to do so (ie the tax payer).  In any other business there would be dismissals and legal action for some of the sums of money involved. 

And is it just me, or is everyone else wondering why some MP's need such ostentatious properties in London AND their home towns? 

Politics it seems, as a career, is in need of a bit of an overhaul with its morality ratings suffering through sheer arrogance and lack of humility.  Yes there are a number of variables here which mean to try and propose an answer (well at least one that isn't sarcastic) is not possible such as juggling family commitments, requirements of the position etc.

As I discuss with many young people in my work choose your role models carefully, and through your thoughts, words and actions always consider the positive contribution you're making to your life and society.  Your choices can come back and bite you at any time.

Our politicians would do well to remember that this is what they are demanding of our young citizens through personal, social and emotional development initiatives of PSHCE, SEAL and Every Child Matters when they decide to stretch the boundaries of common sense and decency and hope we won't notice or find out.

Dale Rockell MA, MCMI, LCH Dip

Today (14th May 2009) Dale was interviewed by Brian Devonish of Diverse FM about his Stress Free work specialising in support for schools and colleges in the delivery of Government initiatives for education: PSHE, Citizenship, SEAL and Every Child Matters.  Dale described some insightful case studies of his coaching and mentoring experience with young people and provided 5 top tips for increasing personal confidence for young people and adults alike.

An mp3 sound file of the interview will be available for download on Dale's website in due course.

An Event Not To Be Missed!

Stress Free and Network Luton  are very pleased to annouce a unique event faciliated by not one, not two, but THREE coaches.  This event is open to everyone, individuals and business.

Date: Wednesday 22nd April 2009

Time: 0700 to 1000

Venue: Luton (exact venue to be confirmed)

Cost: £25 per person, includes breakfast

This will be an experiencial insight into how coaching inspires and transforms the personal and professional lives of those who participate.

The session will be facilitated by;

Dale Rockell , Managing Director & Founder, Stress Free

Matthew Penn, Transphorm

Paul Hayward, In Your Dreams

The team will be taking Dr Steven Covey's 7 Habits of Highly Effective People as the basis for the event, adding their own unique and highly effective approach.  EVERYONE will leave with several "a-ha" moments and something they can implement immediately in their personal and business lives.  You won't be able to wait to share this with your family, friends and collagues! 

To book your place NOW email hello@bestressfree.co.uk. Places for this event will go quickly - BOOK NOW!! 

Payment can be made on the day, or forwaded to Network Luton, c/o Dale C Rockell Ltd, PO Box 2459, Luton LU4 0WD.  Cheques should be payable to "Network Luton".

For all of you social networking types you can now follow Dale on 

Kind Regards, The Stress Free One!

Welcome to the Dale C. Rockell Blog where Dale, Managing Director and Founder of Stress Free will contemplate and challenge some of the issues of the day to provoke you into thinking deeper about your own view of the world. 

We will also keep you up to date with details of Stress Free workshops, speaking engagements, events and downloads.

To make sure you stay up to date why not use the RSS feed by clicking on the icon. 

You might also want to check out the Stress Free Blog by clicking here, which will inlcude contributions from Stress Free Associates.

Stay Stress Free!